Blog Post #21

1. In what ways do you “construct” your identity? In what ways do you “perform” in your daily life?

One of the best ways to see the contrast between when I "construct" my identity and when I behave normally is to compare a day I have class or some social function with a day that I have completely free. I wake up and shower every single day I'll be going out or seeing anyone, I shave, I brush and dry my hair, get dressed in nice clothing- I do a whole bunch of stuff that gets old and annoying and takes up time in order to get myself to a point where I feel comfortable going out. I don't think I do anything too drastic to please others or alter my appearance- I don't even wear make-up-but the fact remains that I'm not comfortable unless I do these things.

By contrast, if I won't be going anywhere or seeing anyone, I usually take a break from all of these formalities and sit around in my underwear unshowered. I don't know if this says more about "who I am" so much as it points out that the rest of it is a performance that I get tired of, from which I enjoy a break every so often.

Using the word "perform" or "construct" when talking about personality makes it seem so... fake, when really it's hard to look at yourself and point out this kind of thing in that way. Ideally, I'd rather think about the way I act and the things I do around others and in social situations as expressions of the way I'd like others to see me. I try to be nice and sincere and treat others with respect most of the time, but not so much that it comes off as fake, because I like to think it isn't. If I really don't like someone, I'll avoid them before I'll put on a completely false front and pretend to be their friend, but I certainly won't go out of my way to make sure they know I dislike them.

When I'm with people I care about, I try to do thoughtful things for them every so often to make sure they know I care about them. I guess this is an example of positive construction, since most of the others sound so negative.


2. Describe some ways in which your personal culture and social environments are “constructed”.

One custom in my personal social environment I had a hard time adjusting to was the mealtime ritual. Before I started spending a lot of time with my current friend group, I pretty much ate my meals alone and didn't really think anything of it. If I was hungry, I'd go down to the caf and get some food. If I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't.

But the others started coming to get me and asking me to go down to get food quite often. Initialy, I turned them down a lot. Hey, I wasn't hungry, it didn't make sense to go down. But then I started to notice they seemed annoyed and discouraged by this.

Or I'd be hungry and I'd go down, then bump into someone on the way out, and again they'd seem annoyed or discouraged.

Then I realized- eating was about more than the food, it was a social event and the socially "correct" thing to do in this situation is to invite others when you go to eat, or accept invitations to give them company when they are going down.

For quite a while, this felt sort of like a social experiment I was taking part in, learning the customs of some strange "other" group and infiltrating the ranks, but as time went by, I got used to this and it became the new "normal." Visits to the caf started feeling less like social performances and more like bonding opportunities, which is how I imagine the others must have viewed it all along.

This dining behavior is completely constructed for me- this is not how I normally functioned when left to my own devices. I had to reconstruct my own habitual norms in order to fit in with the new social environment.


3. Describe some ways in which your physical environment/space is “constructed”.

In a sense, my physical environment is constructed in every way possible. I live in a building that was build by humans, on land that was cleared and paved by humans. My room is full of manufactured things that I have arranged in a certain and specific fashion. There is no aspect of this space that isn't "fabricated" in some sort of way. But if we are to back off and look at this less literally, I suppose my efforts to put things away and keep the floor and (sparce) seating spaces free for other people to use would be a bid example of fabrication.

When I am left alone and completely to my own devices, these spaces are often consumed by school books, clothing, papers- anything that needs a place to go. But my efforts to keep these things in some sort of organized order is almost entirely me doing this for others, because it's embarrassing to live in a mess and have nowhere for anyone to sit or stand, but if I am alone it doesn't matter if my additional seating is covered in my things, since I am only one person who only needs one place to sit and it makes more sense to have my things easily accessible than to have seating for people who aren't here (it's also less effort).


4. In your daily life, what would you consider to be “real” and what would you consider to be “constructed/fabricated”?

I feel like there are two ways to approach a response to this question. The first answer that came to my mind was "Well, the only time you're not really performing for anyone or fabricating anything is when you're completely alone, so I guess that would be the most "real" picture of someone- the things they do and don't do while they're alone." Which is true in a sense, and I think it would be really interesting to be able to secretly (here comes the creeper inside me) see how people act and what sorts of things they do when they're completely alone with no one there to watch or judge them.

But after thinking about this, another thought pressed its way into my head- who is to say that the constructed and fabricated behaviors aren't also real in a sense? Even when acting a part or differently, the things you choose to do still portray something about you. You wouldn't be acting a certain way if you didn't have some sort of message you were trying or wanted to convey or express.

I guess in short, I guess that I would consider almost every moment that is spent in someone else's presence to be constructed or fabricated in some way, because everyone is working under certain expectations, challenges and has a general "image" they would like to be seen as, but I would also consider these moments as "real," because in some way or another they convey some sort of desire or truth about each person.